Hi Juliet - I'm lucky - I tried weed once and thought the guy innocently mowing his lawn next door, was out to get me (he never even looked in my direction)
I DO understand about the abuse though and as you're in the UK too, wondered if you have had any contact with Womens Aid and especially their 'freedom project' ? I went through their course (it's free) and it taught me so much.
Hugs to ya x