Thread: Day 16
View Single Post
Old 03-04-2018, 08:26 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
D122y
Blue Belt
 
D122y's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Toni,

I had crazy dreams as I slowly healed.

I still have them now, but not always. The dreams sometimes leave me traumatized and it takes me a while to calm down and go back to sleep.

But, It is awesome waking up a strong as possible, drug free.

I periodically think this: The only way I could ever rationalize waking up with a hang over was ok was because I was physically addicted. A relapse today would be sad for me, my family, my coworkers, and for many here.

It will never happen.

I hold myself accountable. Accountability is huge in a normal life. Whether it is to ourselves, our family, our boss...accountability is what keeps this addict clean.

I have good and bad things going on these days. Each day I am able to face these things with a good conscious knowing I am all that I can be.

It is what feeling normal is all about. I am not there yet. I still crave and think about relapsing when things go good and when things go bad.

If it wasn't for SR, I would have relapsed hard many times by now.

Thanks.
D122y is offline