Old 03-04-2018, 05:15 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
soberista
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: North Yorkshire UK
Posts: 765
Hi Juliet

Having been through a coercive control (domestic abuse) situation I think that part of what you are going through has other fingers in other pies. I think your sobriety is great, as is giving up the weed, but DA rips out the very essence of your self confidence and can leave you feeling like a broken and trembling person until you slowly gather all the pieces of yourself up (and what makes you a happy person) and put them back together. If you have been in a situation where you have become isolated by him then it is difficult to break free and create a new life (thats why he does it!) There is a book by Lundy Bancroft called Why does he do that. Maybe read the reviews on amazon. It may help you to move forward if you understand how this situation has come about. I agree go to AA meetings but also see if there is a DA support group in the area. IDAS may be a good place to start. Coercive control has now been acknowledged by the law and is something that can cause a custodial sentence if the perpetrator is found guilty. Not suggesting that is the route you take but just so you can understand the severity it is now viewed with. Your friend saying the last ten years have been horrible to watch is classic. You knew something was wrong but couldnt get away and friends wouldnt have understood why you didnt kick him to the kerb but these people fill you with fear and its not easy to get away from them. There is also a chat room here https://survivorsforum.womensaid.org.uk/ where you can meet other women in similar situations. Hope that helps. Xx
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