Hi Juliet
no one comes into recovery knowing how to handle emotions, especially things like shame and regret and obsessing about the past. Its a learning curve for all of us
We're like babies learning to walk in a way - but we have adult brains so we learn pretty quickly I think all things considered?
I was terrified to death of feeling feelings - I'd avoided that for 30 years...but I got used to it eventually and once they didn't scare me anymore I was fine - you will be too
The way I see the past is....everything Ive been through, good and bad bought me here - and here is a pretty good place.
I also like the person who's emerged out the other side. I'm kind the sum of all my parts and a little bit extra seasoned by experience
and I smoked weed too - 30 years worth - no one is going to look down on you for that here
D