It took me many years to really come to grips with being truly willing. What I wanted were the consequences to go away. Eventually I became one of the sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The heck of it is - I realize today with a few years of sobriety, that I am only one drink away from never getting sober again. Scary & true........
A gratitude list helped keep me on track at times in early sobriety - a list daily of what I was truly grateful for in sobriety. Not having had a hangover in almost 4 years is a pretty good one these daze.
Don't judge yourself to harshly, but realize we don't always get more chances.
Thanks for the post
Best,
Fly