Thank you all so much for your answers! It has made me sit and think a lot more than I would have previously.
He has a good program, a sponsor he likes and respects (I also have met his sponsor and like him a lot) and has been doing 90 meetings in 90 days (I guess now he's at 70)- all good signs and much more than I've seen previously. But, as I've been telling him, 2 months is great but very small in the grand scheme of things. We are having dinner tonight so I'm hoping to talk some of these things through with him.
Now that I think about it, I think I will make a list of my "must haves" in my home, including him regularly attending meetings, consistent honesty, no lashing out, etc. I want to draw hard lines/boundaries for what I will and will not live with. If he agrees and then breaks them, I want him to be aware of what I will do, meaning leaving our home. I think that's what I was thinking with a "contract," but like you all are saying, this would be for me, not for him.
But, dandy, like you said- I still need to continue working on myself. I go to alanon, individual counseling, family sessions and couples counseling through his treatment facility (busy busy!). I'm hoping through one of those I can find some clarity.