Originally Posted by
Breeze52 
It is that feeling of living in limbo, that's driving me up the wall. Trying to explain to him what he's causing is head banging. I've gotten to the point where I don't care if he drinks or not I just can't bare to be around him and the lies all the time. I want normal back again it's bee so long I've forgotten what that's like. But he lived in this giant bubble of denial that everything's okay.
Simple. Does he want to stay with you? If so he must choose to stop drinking because of the rages. Not even one. He must go to some kind of program to get help, but he must make the conscious choice to stop all drinking. And you must create a very strong boundary, communicate that to him and uphold it regardless of the fallout.
I'd get my ducks lined up in case this doesn't work out.