Originally Posted by
Hippyfly 
I want to get better....but I don't believe in anything above me and never will, not that I think I'm so important it's just I literally have no one in my life even that could be above me...not family or anyone
Some people even use the steps as a power above themselves. Just believe that doing the steps will provide results. It becomes a power greater than yourself because you do the work, allow it to work on your life, and see results.
It is worth a try since you said you have nothing else that could be a higher power.
A power greater than yourself can be anything. It has nothing to do with religion. Believe me, I am not religious either yet have worked steps and I am over 3 years clean.