Don't despair
I got 2 DUIs when I totally lost it over the holidays. Spent January in jail. That was a sobering experience to say the least. Talk about cruel and inhuman punishment. To start with I was tossed into a mental cell, naked and without meds, to detox.
I still have to go to court for the second one. For the first one I got time served and a huge fine. This is Virginia=mandatory jail time. Community service or rehab was not an option. I don't dare to think what I will get from the second one.
Stay sober and ask your lawyer if it helps your case that you are receiving treatment.
I will soldier on. This, too will pass! I am determined to deal with it the best I can. Every cloud has a silver lining, yes that is a bit of a cliche but hey, I am sober now.
There are many things I don't like about AA but I go anyway, plus found a great, informal women's meeting. But there are lots of alternative ways of treatment, I am sure that you will find what works for you! And you are here, and not alone.
Anna