MEPunymeier

I'm overwhelmed at all of the responses. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time out to write about your personal experiences and to give advice. I've found an Al-anon meeting that gets together less than a mile from my house that I can go to on my lunch break. I'm going to try it out. I went to church for the first time since I was a teenager on Sunday and talked to the pastor who was very kind and understanding about the situation. My closest family knows what happened, but I don't feel the need to share with the world. If my wife decides some day to reveal it, she can do so on her terms. Her family knows what happened as well, but I understand why she wouldn't want other friends or work colleagues to know what occurred.

The police report finally became available, and there was no mention of alcohol as a factor in the crash. I'm not sure how it works everywhere, but in my state the police have to have consent or a warrant to get a blood sample. The hospital did one for medical purposes but the defense attorney I've spoken with thinks it's unlikely that charges will be pursued at this juncture, and even if they were, it would be difficult to use the medical blood test results as it wasn't treated as evidence and a chain of custody would be difficult to prove. Though CPS is involved, they aren't planning to refer the case to the police. It's a miracle and I hope my wife sees that and takes the second chance she's been offered.

I definitely am not using her having kids in rapid succession as an excuse for her behavior. There is none, and it's only by God's grace that nobody was hurt seriously. But I do think that mental illness is at play, and that she's had unresolved issues and trauma that she's been dealing with on her own for a long time. She also likely has a predisposition to mental illness given her family history of some pretty serious psychological issues. Again, it's not an excuse - she consciously decided to drink more than a coke can of vodka in a 2 hour period preceding a drive home with our CHILD in the car. I get it, and she knows exactly how I feel about that.

I do love her, and I hope she's able to put in the work to help herself. I'm learning that it will be up to her, and all I can do is provide a caring environment to allow her to make decisions that will allow us to re-establish our family. I believe in her regret, remorse, and her own desire to help herself. I hope my faith isn't misplaced. I will hope for the best but steel myself for the worst and take care of myself and my children no matter what.