I had also noticed your absence from SR lately,Ghoster. Time to buckle down on that plan and stick to it hardcore. If you feel your sponsor was somewhat of a trigger, switch sponsors(don't place blame on others for your drinking/drugging though). I see you say "Thing is if someone done to me what I do to them I'd fkn drink!
I couldn't bear it.
Yet there it is
My family won't do al/anon or any stuff to help they just suffer in silence
I'm the timebomb!
I either disarm breath by breath and start telling the truth to myself rigorously about how sick I am and that there is a solution.
Or I detonate!"
Why is it you think your family needs al/anon?..And by them not wanting to go to that, you feel like you want to "detonate". To me that's blaming them for your drinking. We all handle things differently and it wasn't until I stopped blaming others,the world,ect..for my making bad decisions, did I cross over to true sobriety. I always say "had I stayed with my exAgf, I'd still be drinking to deal with her actions/words." That's 100% true,but I'm not placing blame on her. That's who she is. It was up to me to take myself out of that situation. My life is dependent on me. No one else! Own your stuff,bud and handle your sobriety business.