casinva

I stopped drinking 4 years ago and at the time my husband did as well, or so I thought. I found out the other day that he has been drinking all along.I feel as though the last 4 years have been a lie. He had been drinking on the hour ride home from work and apparently also drinking at home when I wasn't around. He claimed he wasn't drinking every day and would go months at a time without a drink. I'm so angry at myself for not realizing this sooner. I always thought I was someone that could pick up the scent of alcohol a mile away. Boy was I wrong. Over the last few days I have tried to come to grips with it, going so far as to telling him that if he was going to drink that he needed to do so at home and never drink and drive again. However, the more we talked about his drinking habits, the more I realized that he has a problem. The straw that broke the camel's back for me was when, in a moment of exasperation, I blurted out, "Maybe I should just start drinking again so that we can drink together, like we used to." I didn't mean it and am not really sure why I even said it as I have ZERO desire to drink. His response to that was "I'd really like that." I was floored. I could not believe my husband of over 30 years could be that selfish. I told him the next day that he needed to leave, that I couldn't do this anymore. He came back today, saying he wants to save our marriage and claims he's going to go to AA. I'm numb. He's going to be staying downstairs and we will coexist for the time being, but I don't know what our future holds. I just know that I'm still sober and plan to stay that way. Sorry for the novel - just wanted to introduce myself and look forward to getting to know everyone.