Trying to gather some strength
Posting because I need to and want to. It’s like I can see what success looks like (stopping drinking , losing weight, more money, better relationships, improved health) but my brain is pickled with the daily grind of evening drinking.
It’s all mindset isn’t it, today I’m just fleeting from a few minutes in which I’m at peace with myself- then suddenly- wham- it hits me- “you’re going to get your cans like normal tonight” and the endless loop continues.
I’ve got stuff on today but my head is just in constant conflict behind the scenes- I just want it to shut up and to shut it off
Maybe if I just fasten myself down to a seat for the next 6 months, the desire / urge to drink will be less
I looked at myself in the mirror when trying clothes on yesterday, looked at what beer has done to me- 2 stone heavier and spending money on clothes a size up- ridiculous!