It's 4 weeks today since my dad died. 2 weeks since his funeral (busy time of year apparently hence long wait). He died 10.10 in morning, with me my sister and my mother and brother there, my sister who is always late, was late. The hospice said we could take as long as we liked with the room, so we were there a couple of hours after we rang our adult kids to pay last respects to their granda.
I got home at 1pm and picked a bottle of whisky up on the way. I drank a bottle a day for the next 5 days straight. Had 2 days off.
Started drinking again the Thursday same thing bottle a day for 5 days 2 days off.
This Thursday was his funeral, started drinking at the wake drank for 2 days.
Started on the Monday again, came here on the Wednesday stopped last Thursday.
So as well as it being dole day, was a bit worried today cos it was Thursday again, but seem alright.
Everyone was amazed how supportive I could be when my dad was dying. With him every day for almost 6 weeks. But just seemed that when he died, I thought "my job is over"
But I know I have it in me somewhere to cope with extreme stress without the drink, and to be there for other people who are not coping as well. So I am going to hold that thought..I CAN do it when I want to.