I hear ya. Intrusive thoughts and health anxiety have been some of the worst symptoms of my recovery (going on three months now). I used alcohol to cope with my anxiety for so many years that when i quit, my brain/body went haywire. Intrusive thoughts are weird animal to fight. I can tell you, that an overwhelming opinion in the mental health field is, if the thoughts frighten you (not excite you) you are on the right side of sanity. Also know that intrusive thoughts are normal, meaning everyone has them. People without anxiety just don't give the thought any attention, so i goes away. Those of us with anxiety dwell on it and it gets worse thus causing the feeling of going mad. Anyway, i'm not a health prof, so as always, if you feel like you are a danger to yourself or others, seek professional help. But note, this is common so breath.