Thanks lynnmarie123!
Fortunately my afternoon was a lot better than my morning. My mind settled down and I felt content. I like to check in here often! It's kinda warming to meet all these people who know what I am talking about, who have gone through the same and succeeded. Reading older threads also helps. I always thought I was unique in my experience but the stories are universal. Up to a certain point we all stuggle (or have struggled) with the same issues.