Having a not-so-wonderful day today. I find it hard that there is no "reward" at the end of the day anymore. Something to look forward to. I was always an evening-smoker. But I also know that I quit because pretty much always the reward wasn't as good as I expected it to be. The "longing for" was always better that the "indulging in".
Now it feels like I plow through the day, doing all the things I am expected to do (work, chores, taking care of the kids) and going to bed early because I'm tired and I can't really enjoy doing something.
I do blame myself for not emphasizing more on the benefits of my choice. I go to bed the same time as my girlfriend every evening now, which was never the case before. I always needed an hour and a half for myself. The last few years it would annoy me when my girlfriend would stay up later than normal. I hated myself for that, but I needed the space and I needed to be alone.
I could go on and on about the good things. That's why I find it so stupid that I am feeling a little down. There's so much to feel happy about.
Thanks for lending an ear!