Thanks for the warm welcome mm1741. Same goes for the rest of you btw.
I'm quite positive I read your thread as well as Dee's and Lynnmarie's. I read all I could get my hands on really.
It was a good month ago I discovered this place and it was the last push I needed. Moderation is not an option is the main thing I took out from all the reading. Addiction is a weird thing. More than once I would be amazed by my own actions. Smoking a joint and knowing oh so sure that you don't want to do this anymore. With this in mind making appointments with yourself only to break them the next day. The circle was endless.
I did go for that bike ride this afternoon. Took me a good 90 minutes to get past the endless thinking and pondering I now seem to do most of the day. The last 45 minutes were great and I got home feeling very well and at ease.
(My apologies for all the long posts. English is not my native language and I find it quite hard to be on point and being able to say what I want to say in just a few sentences)
Speak to you soon!