Welcome, Catldy. I felt exactly the same when I found SR. It was such a huge relief to be able to talk things over with those who understood.
My family, co-workers & friends had no clue what I was going through. I really didn't know how to explain it to them - sometimes it makes no sense to me either. All the comments/advice from people who can't possibly relate are so unhelpful. I hope you'll stay with us and post often. You're among friends who care - and 'get it'.