Thank you for the replies. I almost couldn't look at them because I was so afraid I'd be seen as a monster. Hearing back from everyone who is really non-judgmental makes me feel this is doable. And hearing back from people who have been in similar situations is also so helpful. Thank you so much.
I have a therapy appointment in less than a week, and while I am sick to my stomach about the idea of bringing it up, I'm going to and talk my therapist about coming up with a plan. I'm going on a camping trip over the weekend, so luckily alcohol won't be an option then.