Hi kayleezen,
It IS a great coping skill. ...and coping skills become part of daily living of a new kind... one of enjoying the moment we're in, having fun, smelling the coffee, forgiving ourselves and others, moving ahead in new ways...
A few months ago my husband relapsed, again. I went No Contact. Today, in a little while, I'm meeting with him to go shopping, grab something to eat and have fun together. He's currently in recovery, sober again... not dry drunk or negative. And here we are on a new day, without preconceived notions of who we're supposed to be or what we need to do to move ahead... enjoyment of this day, this moment IS enough. I am ENOUGH in my own skin, in my own life. My subconscious is no longer fighting against my conscious mind. In that, life is changing quickly and greatly.
30+ years of marriage and many good times I'm now recoonecting with on a new level. Alcoholism creates hate, chasms and chaos. Recovery is not "logical" in any way.
Our 11 year old son has several years of Alanon/Alakid/Alateen plus other counseling and therapy. Our older children are adults with their own dysfunctions and coping skills, doing very well on many levels.... I get to enjoy different relationships with each of them without changing who they are or their experience. They've each been hurt and traumatized by Alcoholism also. Having been through the recovery process, I now TRUST we each will get the healing we need in our own timeframe.
Our older kids are currently closer to their dad than me. That hurts! Yet life goes on, my life is getting much better... I trust my relationships with them will also.