Thanks so much for all the replies!!
Yes, it did feel good to write it out. I've been feeling the need to do that for awhile. I appreciated you listening by reading that horror. ;-)
Thanks for the congrats on the 19 days! I will likely respond to her email but I am 100% firm in my resolve not to be in a so-called relationship with her again. Or even pursue anything casually or one-nighty. I will cite sobriety as a reason not to do that and thankfully she's 5 hours away so the distance for once is super helpful.
I do believe she is an addiction as much as the booze was. I recognize that and will keep myself safe from her. There is no way I can go back to that darkness and hell. I already suffer from depression and anxiety as it is. I don't need that in my life to make it even worse.
Thanks again for reading, everyone. I really appreciate all the words of support.
P