Thanks very much for posting and great news that you have seen your doctor and are on here, seeking the support of others in the same position.
I think what the others have said here is true - don't beat yourself up for the past but congratulate yourself on the positive decision to do something about it. I, of course, know very little about your background but being a widow and sole carer to an autistic child is a good deal to cope with. If that's how you've coped in the past, good on you for finding a new, healthier way of doing it and for making a choice and taking control.
For what it's worth, I'm on here for the first time too, have not had a drink in only 20 days and am also not going to go down the AA route but am looking instead at holistic means of recovery. Exercise is a big part of that, not least to get me back in some sort of shape, having declined from being a very fit person to now being overweight and out of shape. Reading too is proving a bonus - Catherine Gray's recently published The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober has been a real support, written in a completely unpretentious, realistic manner.
Good luck with your recovery and, of course, shout out if you're wanting someone to talk about it with. You should be proud of yourself for taking the step. Stick at it!