Welcome, Scotty. It's so good to have you join us.
I was older too when I came here - drinking every day. I really didn't expect to stay around - but here I am, checking in each day - and 10 yrs. sober. I drank for 30 years - it was part of everything I did.
Try not to be angry - none of us sets out to sabotage ourselves. We usually just use it to try and cope - never dreaming we'll become dependent on it. Be kind and patient with yourself as you heal. You can do this, scotty.