Before I developed clinical depression/bipolar I was in the driving seat. If I wanted one drink I had one drink. If I wanted 4 I had 4. It was no big deal. I thought it would always be that way.
How wrong I was!!
My illness smashed my control button and it stayed smashed for 20 years. I used to roam the streets at night searching for more alcohol because I could not stop drinking when I started. When I say could not I really mean could not. One drink would turn me into an insane raging alkie.
The Abilify maintena injections put me back in control again but they also killed my alcohol buzz so there is no point drinking now. I might as well drink tea instead.
The dual diagnosis literature does not mention this. It keeps talking about self medication but I didnt self medicate. I became an overnight alkie as soon as i developed clinical depression/bipolar. I didnt have time to self medicate. It happened in a flash. Yes your brain chemistry really can change that quickly which is why alcohol is so dangerous. The docs dont mention this type of flash alcoholism when they are recommending 14 units of alcohol a week. Now the public thinks you have to be a heavy drinker to become an alcoholic. It is not true. Your brain chemistry can change in seconds and no one knows that better than me. I dont think the docs have a clue about alcoholism.