Wow. Thankyou so much for the comments. I am so glad that I have joined here! I am definitely feeling a lot of shame and embarrasment. But, I did this to myself and have to face the music. Just day by day and hopefully things will get better. I have become a hermit. Feeling a bit hopeless, but I have to keep moving on. I am very bad at sharing in meetings and really dont like AA. I just dont like the steps, but I might try again. I'm in a spot where my AA friends have turned their backs on me and I lost my previous friends because I am not "fun" anymore. Ya...probably not the best of friends to begin with. So I am a bit lonely, but I am staying sober. Still always wanting a drink though!!!!