Originally Posted by MindfulMan

I found in my first 60 days or so that I was pretty much a raw nerve, and long numbed feelings surfaced with a vengeance.

Anger is the easiest emotion to access, and often covers and/or is a defense against pain...and the recovering addict has a ton of pain to process. Fear is another. Often the object of fear isn't really valid. Again, pain is often below the fear.

This is NOT to say that anyone needs to feel, confront and release their pain in early recovery. It would be too much and could very easily lead back to drinking/using.

At some point to remain sober I think we all need to face down our demons, and this cannot really be done alone. Whether it be with a therapist or through some sort of recovery program, inpatient, outpatient, or a combination, you're sharing and getting input from others. If you're in a 12 Step program, Steps 4 and 5 can help with this, particularly if your sponsor is compassionate, empathetic, intuitive, but knows when to crack the whip a bit and not let you get away with too much. Get through the anger in your resentments and delve deeply into your part in it. My therapist and I are working through a version of Step 4, I start by writing a no-holds-barred "character assassination" of the object of my resentment. Then we very deliberately go through my part in it, as well as going back into the past to identify threads and narratives involved in these resentments, and work on changing the narrative into something more positive.

I'm very lucky to have him.

I've used all of the above tools to work through my rage, and life is so much better. It's definitely a long and ongoing process.