I’m so sorry you are feeling this way. I have suffered with anxiety and depression as well, which is a big reason I wanted to quit drinking... I was scared of what I might do when drunk. If you are feeling suicidal, please don’t drink. I would also suggest talking to your doctor. They can refer you to counselors and help you get your medicine right if it isn’t already.
Like Dee said, we have to work on all the underlying stuff that we drank to escape. It’s all still there waiting for us unfortunately.