Mercedes, when I was drinking I didn't love myself, and wasn't really capable of loving anyone else. People were just there and they served my purposes or they didnt. If anyone had tried to stop me drinking, or question it, then they were the enemy (in my head). My best and most valued friends were other people who drank like me. I didn't trust them as far as I could throw them. They were as incapable as love as me.
Nowadays I truly do believe that Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Do you think he's capable of that? While he's drinking? And noone can make him stop, or want to stop. He has to come to that realisation for himself, the same as the rest of us. Nothing anyone does can speed that along apart from walking away from the alcoholic and let them feel the consequences of their drinking. It is sad. But not as sad as people who deserve better putting up with their behaviour indefinitely and unwittingly enabling the alcoholic to dig themselves in deeper.
I hope you will give yourself the life you deserve, with others who are capable of loving you back, as they are now.
One thing that I've heard a few times on the friend and family of alcoholic subforum here is "once someone shows you what they're like, believe them." I suggest that you do that. You deserve better. Everyone does.
BB