Hey
I would drink my feelings away too, stress anxiety happiness sadness anything! The bad feelings would disappear initially at the first few drinks then when I hit black out peak they would return and I'd sit and cry for hours on end so essentially I wasnt using it to feel better I was using it to forget! (partner would tell me the next day about the crying) to me now I feel that was defeating the purpose as I was still sad I just didn't know it.
Right now when I feel stress I take long walks, read books and take a bath, post here or sleep on it!
I hope you feel better soon sohard and the good thing is you recognise it now. Keep going