Originally Posted by
sunshinelove101 
all of this could have been prevented if I just didn't drink.
wish I could go back and change things.
You are right on the first point, but you'll never get anywhere if you hang on to the second one.
What you can change is the choices you make today. You can choose to actively pursue help that will keep you sober. Coming here is a great first step. Look around you and see where else you may be able to find support or help - local recovery groups, maybe a counselor, some books, setting a schedule for yourself to make time for working on positive things. Idle time is a sobriety killer so plan out your day to avoid it.
On the immediate front - get rid of any alcohol in your house and don't even think about getting any more. You can do a LOT of positive things today to help make you back into that person you want to be.