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Old 01-15-2018, 07:39 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
dandylion
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Jewel....lol....I am the one who is known for saying that I think there should be a "law" that the alcoholic should be required to live separately from the loved ones for at least a year of early recovery.....Like, at the top of a mountain in Napal....just to focus on recovery, alone. I think that would be more humane for all concerned...especially, the loved ones!

Your relationship has some extra thorn in it...due to the affair situation.....

This would be a good time to take the reins of your life into your own hands. It sounds, to me, like you desperately want to "save" the marriage.....That may or may not be possible....as there are never any guarantees.....
To my way of thinking, I don't think it would serve you to just accept his bouncing back and forth (in the future) according to his whims...with you as a passive and sad observer.
He wants space...? I suggest that you think of getting a LEGAL separation....which give you some boundaries. It would give you more of a feeling of being in control of your life, I would think.....

My first thoughts were the same as the other posters....drinking again? rekindled affair/new affair? Because, these are common occurances....or, it could be just alcoholism confusion and craziness......Who knows!
this is too much for you to sort through and figure out...
This is why you need the separation as much as him....to do a lot of learning...and working on your own self...for greater self knowledge and personal insight....as well as learning how to attend to your own welfare (and your children's)...as your first priority......

I am giving you the following link to our extensive library of excellent articles on alcoholism and the effects on the loved ones.....I hope that you will take the time to read through them....knowledge is power.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
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