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Old 01-15-2018, 12:38 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 39
My RAH Left Me & Im So Angry/Hurt

My husband of 18 yrs admitted his alcoholism after he admitted his affair back in early Dec, literally the next day he started AA and was aplogetic, empathetic, started marriage counseling, etc.

For a few weeks things were very good, bumpy at times mostly because of my hurt over the affair. But now, after returning from a business trip out of state he suddenly has too much resentment towards me and senses it from me and wants to separate from me so we can both get our emotions in check. He was about 42 days sober when he told me he wanted to separate.

Mind you, before he had admitted the affair he had told me he wanted a divorce and raged at me with an intensity like never before. I forgave As much as I could in such a short time and admitted my own overspending and financial shortcomings. Well now hes using the financial stuff as his reason to distance himself from me and our two kids.

His abandoning us yet again has enraged me and caused a significant fight when he came to the house today to get a few things. Mind you he hasnt spent any time at all with his kids in almost 2 weeks either. According to him he is sober now and finally really sees me. That was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me. Im finding it difficult to not cry when I think of it.

He has been horrible to me over the years while using. How does he go from having remorse and supposedly working the steps to coming over just to torture me more? His moods and behavior towards me has been erratic but Im friends with his sponsors wife and she keeps being told how great hes doing in the program. I didnt kick him out when he admitted his alcoholism and the affair, I tried to be kind and supportive of his recovery even though all the time spent at meetings has neglected me and the kids more than ever, yet he is sober now and sees me as some awful person?

My best friend is also in AA and shes convinced hes drinking again even though hes going to meetings. Inexplicably moving into an extended stay after coming back from a business trip? Avoiding me and the kids? Now telling me hes getting an apartment? What the hell is going on? Any insight is appreciated. My heart is broken right now.
Jewelstar is offline