I had over 3 years sober and started drinking again. Thst was nearly 2 years ago and ivery spent all that time drinking or trying to stop again. How I wish I'd not picked up.
Do what you need to do to stay clean. Stay on here. Get real life f2f support from people who DO understand. Go to na therapy. Do the things you enjoy. Exercise read listen to music dance exercise eat ice cream travel throw yourself into work. Do anything but pick up.
They are just thoughts. You dontvhavecto sct on them. They have no power. You obviously don't want to use