Originally Posted by
Mercedes5555 
If I may ask, should I continue not contacting him since he has made it clear he doesn’t want me to. He has blocked me by all means of communication and I have been so crushed. But I believe in miracles and strongly feel he will come home.
I would say you should focus on what is best for you at this point. It's evident that even in his absence he is controlling your thoughts and actions, and that's not good for you at all. You need to at least prepare yourself for the possibility that he will never give up drinking or seek real help for his addiction, because that is the reality for some unfortunately.
It's also very important for you to know that none of this is your fault, and also that there usually are no answers to "why" people continue to be actively addicted. Many addicts themselves realize they have a problem and try for years to figure out why instead of just accepting it and fixing it. That's what support groups can help you do - learn to accept that his addiction is his problem to deal with, not yours. You can certainly offer support if asked, but trying to "control" it or basing your hopes on the actions of others is usually a recipe for sorrow and pain.