I think you're right to say that your husband abandoned you when he picked up again. You are entitled to a commitment from him that he will never drink again .
I was able to give this commitment to my own wife at the very doors of a divorce court. I took responsibility for my drinking and quit for good. What enabled me to do this was the model used by AVRT which is described with great clarity in many of the threads in the Secular Connections forum. It may be worth seeing what you think about this approach.
I never stopped loving my wife btw while I was drinking. It was just that I couldn't show her this until I knew how to get a grip on my problem.