Thread: New AVRT'er
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Old 01-11-2018, 02:56 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Sohard
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Wow. Congratulations on 4 years, MesaMan. That is a really amazing achievement. At just one month along, it is hard for me to look that far ahead but I'm thrilled and relieved to know it can happen. I am so, so grateful I stumbled upon AVRT, which clicked with me. However, my Big Plan seemed so much sturdier and more secure at first, for some reason. I'm not sure why it just seems shaky, now. I find myself questioning my alcoholism, which is crazy given my withdrawal when I tried to quit. So, I tell myself it's my AV and to ignore it. Then I find myself thinking, 'okay, I was an alcoholic, but maybe I can moderate it now,' which I know darn well is impossible. Once the addiction is developed, it's always there if you go back. Then I find myself thinking it's not fair I developed this addiction, because I should have been on anti-anxiety medication all along so I didn't have to self-medicate with alcohol. But, as we know, "fairness" has little to nothing to do with life. So, I am trying to tell myself over and over that these are all the voice of the AV, not me. It was worrying me to read all the thoughts of struggle, so I like hearing the more positive vibes coming out of the secular side of SR. The fact you have made 4 years is such a wonderful reality to hear about. Congratulations.
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