Originally Posted by
LateBloominCait 
I'll play the tape forward for you. I had a chunk of time sober and decided I was only a problem drinker. I slowly went back. First a beer or two here and there but very quickly right back where it was before. The truth was, I couldn't control my drinking and once I started, a new part of me takes over that wants to drink and drink until I blackout or get sick. Did I drink that much every time I drank? No. But on the times that I did "moderate", I was just thinking, obsessing and wishing to have more and get good and drunk. Even when I do moderate, I don't enjoy it. I don't drink to get a little tipsy. I drink to get drunk.
It took me three years to pull myself out of this relapse. I know now that I am an alcoholic for certain and that I can't drink if I want a functional, peaceful life. I wish I had just believed it three years ago. I could be so much further with my life now if I had.
You are obsessing about alcohol. You are already planning your relapse. At least I know I was when I sounded like you.
OK I am not sure who you are replying to? I personally do not obsess about alcohol. I simply just replied to my old thread with an update.
If I were in danger of a relapse, I would have relapsed when I was with my ex and he gave me a drink that had a lot of alcohol in it and at the time I did not know this until after I drank it, as living with him was not fun at times and he would create stress/drama out of nowhere. I also could have easily smoked cannabis (weed, pot, marijuana), or taken opiate pills and I did not do this either.
Also, just because you are an alcoholic/addict that does not mean that everyone who drinks or has consumed alcohol or other drugs in excess during a period of their life is an alcoholic or drug addict. What you're doing is called projection.