Originally Posted by
Lnknck 
I know the one thing that’ll make me feel better and I can’t have it.
I don't think you really believe that drinking again will make you feel better do you?
All that hard work thrown away and for what? Temporary relief? A blow out "just this once"?
I'm in my 6th month of sobriety now and yes it's starting to dawn in me that this is a forever life-long commitment (yeah duh I'm a bit slow!) and there is a little niggle of fear creeping in that I'll get complacent. That I'll forget how bad it was. That I'll risk it again and end up in a risky withdrawal situation again.
The thing I do now and again if I feel like throwing the towel in is to face the reality head on. Read some sad stories here, look up documentaries on advanced alcoholism, scare mysekf back on track if you like.
I have no doubt that you would regret the decision to pick up again (and I suspect you already know that).
It's winter and not so easy to get out and about and maybe easier to beat yourself up for beimg boring or whatever. You fought for your life I'd say that's pretty amazing.
Please remind yourself what the reality of going back there would actually mean.