Will I ever get better?
I’ve been sober for over a year (391 days). But I still am tempted to just give up on everything I’ve worked so hard for (my sobriety). I am having a hard time believing deep down that the shell of a person that was left behind after sobering up is worth all this work. I’ve becone so incredibly boring! Not to glamorize drinking- I was boring then too but all I do these days is work on myself- I can’t seem to enjoy going out with anyone like I used to because I have to keep a closer eye on myself to make sure I don’t have so much fun that I give up on staying sober. It was horrible that first month I remember not thinking I could do it and looking back I’m so proud that I have made it past one year.
But I can’t stand how I don’t get to have fun like I used to. I’ve been boring. I’m very grateful I’ve done a lot of things since getting sober but things like paying off credit cards are not what I need. Reading books doesn’t scratch that itch. I know the one thing that’ll make me feel better and I can’t have it.
This post was more god box than anything but I would love to hear anything from anyone that has something to offer that might help.