Wildflower. Glad to hear you are okay. When I first got sober (years ago) I was 30 and sex and drink went together. It took me 10 months, I won't forget cos I wanted it all the time but couldn't do it sober! That period I was sober for 4 years and went on to have great intimate sexually fulfilling relationships.
Please don't go near that man again, I have just ended my relationship because he wanted me drunk, for pretty much the same reasons as your but mainly cos I was easier to manipulate when drunk. It has been a very hard 3 years and its taken its toll on my self esteem, I began to think I would never break free, of him or the booze. Please beware.