Recovery problems/PAWS. need advice
I was a chronic binge drinker for quite some time. I would go days with nothing and then slam alcohol like it was my job for a few days. I took a work trip to Vegas in February last year and went on quite the binge. I passed out and woke up a few hours later in severe panic, completely disoriented, cognitive difficulties, etc... It took me a few days to feel back to normal. It was a really terrifying time and I didn't quite know what was happening. A few days later I tried a drink and almost instantly, it made me feel the same way. Almost immediate panic, disoriented, dizzy, etc...I became sober that day and I haven't looked back.
Throughout the past 11 months, I've had lots of ups and downs. Periods of feeling almost back to normal. Times of feeling fatigued, having dizzy spells. I should note that during this time I sadly also got similar feelings in response to coffee, but not as bad. I've felt feelings of adrenaline rushes, sweaty hands, in response to things that never gave me these feelings before. I'm also extremely sensitive to supplements. One doctor tried to put me on setraline (SSRI), but just one pill made me feel drastically worse. I'm just so confused as to why I'm still having these issues that almost seem to have gotten worse, not better over time. I've been to several doctors, had every test under the sun and I'm in tip top shape. All my labs, blood work, look great, but I'm feeling worse than before.
I think my sudden withdrawal may have affected my glutamate/gaba balance and my mind just can't find homeostasis. I'm reluctant to get on any other pills because I don't want to replace one addition with another and have a further issue with withdrawal in the future.
Has anyone gone through this before that can offer me a bit of advice? I really feel I've done some irreversible damage and I'm just so sick of not feeling like myself anymore.