Originally Posted by
Km3012 
Thank you for your advice. I went to an alanon meeting last Wednesday and despite everyone's situation being a lot different to mine I found it really helpful so I'm definitely going to keep going. I think you're right about boundaries but I think I'll pass any contact through a mutual friend, if I contact him and discuss it with him myself I know I'll give in and fall into his arms again.
Having all contact go through a friend is a boundary. The healthiest would be to sever all contact. Recovery programs need more attention than once a week. And while there ignore the differences in their stories but identify with the similarities. You'll be amazed at how many lived similar lives to you.