John,
Been there. Done that. Bought the T-Shirt and then wore it.
It's a fine line sometimes. I'm a very giving person and sometimes I feel like it is all one way traffic and I can sometimes express a little disappointment. Very rarely - but I have done. The alternative is to bottle it up, which can be unhealthy.
Of course - asking the question first always looks so obvious with hindsight - but we're not perfect are we?
Don't be too hard on yourself John. He could still have called you and said he needed a shoulder. It's not all on you mate.
Regards,
Tony