Hi and congrats on 44 days!!!! I too have had many unsuccessful attempts at sobriety prior to working a program honestly and aggressively. Meeting with a counselor is a great idea and a brave step. Although ups and downs are normal for any human being drunk or sober, I personally think everyone could benefit from counseling and therapy of some kind. It's particularly important for those of us in recovery, as I know I have made many decisions that could absolutely cripple me with shame if I let them. Speaking about that and attempting to figure out why I drank the way I did has been tremendously helpful for me. The one on one third party advice of a therapist can lead to major breakthroughs. And if nothing else, it's just a great way to work things out with an impartial sounding board! I wouldn't worry too much if you're clinically depressed or not; just go check out therapy and I guarantee you won't regret it!!