Thank you all for your responses! Wow! I don't think I was listing those reasons why I drank as excuses to do so. I was trying to engage the thought process that led me to do so. Ending with 2 revelations: (1) I need to learn how to deal with emotions on a healthier level. I have always been very sensitive to my own and other people's feelings, and sometimes it can get very overwhelming. (2) I need to accept alcohol is not for me ever again. I won't ever stop at one or two. I will always end up massively sick and full of anxiety the next day.
My drinking pattern was to binge drink 2-3 times a week. I very rarely drank in the house so it was an expensive bad habit. To avoid... dealing with life's emotional roller coaster and to be around people. But on reflection today, I don't need that it my life. It made me massively anxious and depressed before. Plus it zaps my sleep for days.
I go to a group once a week and see a therapist every 3. But it had stopped for the Christmas break. I look forward to returning.
Everyday is an opportunity to learn and grow.
Glad to hear it Canuckleman! Good luck to you!