Welcome, lightanddark. It's so good to have you with us. Talking things over here has helped me get my life back.
Like Avra, fear of missing out kept me drinking long after I knew I couldn't touch the stuff. As a result, my life turned into an unmanageable nightmare that took me forever to dig out of. I spent many years insisting I could have a couple drinks if I just used enough willpower. It never worked out that way - all attempts to moderate ended in misery, shame, and even danger.
Congratulations on your 2 wks. sober - we know how hard you worked to get to this point. I hope you'll stay with us and keep posting - you're never alone in this.