Merry Christmas everybody. I hope you've all had a good one.
If people are contemplating stopping drinking, they're doing so because they know it's having negative impacts on their life; it might be making them tired all the time, leading to too many hangovers, leading them to saying things that they regret, health problems, dependence, feeling like a hostage.
People might be ambivalent because they may also see costs in stopping drinking. Common fears might include;
- How wil I cope with bars, pubs and party's and not feeling like I'm being deprived
- What will I do if I can't go to pubs and bars, I don't want to be a hermit & have no social life
- Will I lose friends? Will people think I'm boring? How will I explain to friends
- How will I cope with boredom and loneliness?
- Will life without drinking be a constant battle against cravings?
These are questions and concerns that those who're considering stopping drinking should be helped with. Rather than throwing about accusations of being in denial, we should give these things serious attention and discussion.
We should find ways to work past these, focus on ways to build a better life without booze, focus on alternative ways to cope with things that booze has helped to cope with. Living sober needs to be appealing, not like being a good boy or good girl and forcing yourself to avoid the thing that gives you comfort. These genuine concerns must be addressed.
Emotional needs that are not met need to be addressed and acknowledged. People shouldn't be shouted down and accused of being in denial for addressing these very real barriers to getting sober.
I believe that finding alternative ways to socialize, ways to cope with social situations, reducing boredom, reducing loneliness is key. If you're contemplating stopping drinking and those concerns apply, then stopping won't look very apealling. If you have stopped, and those concerns havne't been addressed, then you'll get the belief that being sober sucks, which is very dangerous, since if you relapse, you might be less willing to give-up drinking. I have a gut feeling that this is so incredibly important to address. The thing is, where's the advice about all of this? Finding ways around these concerns and meeting your emotional needs without alcohol, and finding ways to cope with those situations which you have used alcohol to cope with is important. There needs to be a lot more attention to this.