Wild Flower, I hope you do not leave. Is it possible the recent relapse is messing with your thinking. I mean this kindly....I am still trying to get back on track from my relapse. You know it makes us all supersensitive, ashamed and feeling like the 'different one'. Stay with me here....I am definitely not part of any inner circle on SR, if one exists. And thats fine. I don't need to be. I need this community for support and I hope I can do something to support others. Thats all. I don't have to be perfect or top of the sober days list to do that. Neither do you. Hang on and give this another shot.