Originally Posted by biminiblue

I would add, it's not fair to your mother (or anyone!) to say, "Here's this huge emotional thing that happened to me because I was drinking," and then say, "DON'T tell anyone." Expecting people to keep our secrets is not healthy. Your parents' first loyalties are to one another. Don't put her in a position to have to pick sides. That drives a wedge in one place or another.

That's like taking a hostage. If you don't want your dad to know, don't tell your mom. That's just unfair, and no matter how your mother were to react to it, it would be harmful to HER and would become a big mess for all of you. Triangulating is not good.